I get a wake-up call when a lot of clients come to me with the same issue! I know I am supposed to look at myself and ask how I may need to clear the same thing. Recently the good old “victim” approach to life has been showing up! You know this one, it’s that why does this always happen to me or why are they so lucky to get the guy, job, break or what else could I possibly do…POOR ME. This very common unconscious way of looking at the world takes over, keeps you stuck, and yet allows you to feel virtuous at the same time!!!!
Victims feel powerless, in pain, and just plain “yucky.” I like Eckhart Tolle’s definition, “A victim identity is the belief that the past is more powerful than the present, which is the opposite of the truth. It is the belief that other people and what they did to you are responsible for who you are now, for your emotional pain or your inability to be your true self. The truth is that the only power there is, is contained within this moment.” He also mentions that “Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past.” So not getting the job, the guy, better health, etc. and thinking it always happens to me-is all about the past and does not have to be repeated!!!! Easier said than done-unless you wake up!!!
How do we make this big change to feeling powerful and whole in every instance? The first way to get out of a victim mentality is to start noticing how your body feels and your mind races. There is that little glitch inside when we are acting as a victim. We hear the negative self-talk. Stop for a moment, take some deep breaths, watch the thoughts that are racing, and make a decision to stay in the present moment. Honor the past, forgive yourself for hanging on to old beliefs, and decide today is the first day of the rest of your life. You have never been alive at this time before and you will never have this moment again. Keep breathing and honoring yourself and vision a new possibility! This is very simple and complex at the same time.
With continued awareness and practice a new vision of self will emerge with new outcomes. This may take diligence but it works. Eventually the thought expression will change from Why Me to Yea Me!!!