The Success Mistake you Want to Avoid

Dr. Sheran MattsonUncategorized

Sheran Mattson Jen Race

jen raceYou worked hard to get the training you needed. You learned how to talk about yourself, dress for success, and do all the right things. You are ready to be the leader, parent, entrepreneur, or ground breaker you know you are inspired to be. Then it shows up. The one thing that brings down the best of the best! Fear of Success.

Your first response may be-not me! But obstacles keep showing up, clients aren’t following through, you can’t seem to reach your goals when you are just about to “make it,” the timing is not right, and some drama shows up that needs attention. Sure there are reasons that each of these can happen, but if you consistently get just to the edge of the success, it may be time to ask yourself, “Could I possibly be Afraid of Making It? Do I really want to Risk Getting Big?”

Doesn’t this sound ridiculous? Why would anyone ever fear success when they are working “so hard” to get it. I think we can all think of times when we were so close to something and then had so much resistance, we took a step back. Then there are the models of those who step out and we see them doing what we want to do. We even may say, “I could have done that and I could even have done it better!” But we didn’t-they did!

Last weekend I watched my daughter complete her first triathlon. Her fear was great, her resolve was greater. As we waited in line before the swim, we were tapping with EFT and acknowledging the fear, and still she continued to move forward. Then she jumped in the water. I watched in anticipation and calmed my own fear as she moved forward through each step.

What a remarkable smile when she crossed the finish line after the bike and running sections. Her resolve and strength were remarkable and I doubt that the fear ever left, but it was tamed and held to the side as she heard bikes crashing and people getting sick on the run! She never for a minute let go of the finish line. She also knew that it would be okay if she did not complete this first one. I think that is important to keep in mind-moving forward with resolve, honoring yourself, and being open to forgiving yourself if you need to start again!

So what are the possible fears that may show up with success:

Taking on more responsibility-since you can do more you may be given more to do

Relationships could change or end-those who are threatened may leave or be less supportive

Losing control-our lives will be different-we may need to move, lead, feel we have to keep proving ourselves

Working harder-too much effort to get there

Loss of a dream-once we are successful what else is there to achieve

What to do to get to Success:

Find a mentor, coach, or one who has gone before-no star athlete or super star would go without a coach!

Write out and visibly see your goal and milestones-seeing and measuring each step is motivating!

Share your dream only with those who can and will support you unconditionally-those who do not have your courage and vision can discourage you and pull you down. Carefully share with only supporters!

Tame your Fear-remember fear is always with us. It’s purpose is to help us not to hold us back. Ask fear what it wants to tell you, honor it with acknowledgment and ask it to walk beside or behind you-it is not to be in Charge!

Keep moving forward-when you have a setback (and any big success has them), honor the step, refocus, get back up and start again without the need to punish yourself!

Life is meant to be lived fully! There is only one you-you are needed in the world! Go for it!

If you know anyone who could use a coach or guide, give them my information as this is my success-supporting Super Stars and wanna be Stars to achieve their dreams. Hugs, Sheran