It feels so good to be really heard. Did you realize that people spend 45% of their waking time listening and truly being heard is one of the most effective sales tools in business (and life)? Listening creates loyalty among staff and customers, it can calm a disgruntled client and save a sale, and most importantly effective listening deepens relationships.
I love to watch my granddaughters light up when they are telling a story and I am listening intently. They are so excited to be the center of attention and show how good they feel to be heard. It seems to me that we grown ups are pretty much the same!!
I have seen how an angry person calms down quickly when they feel heard. How couples relationships improve just by listening to one another. A mother and daughter begin to understand what it is like to be in the others shoes!
Many clients tell me there are so few places where you can really have meaningful conversations and truly speak from the heart. And since I have as many men as women clients, I am convinced this is a need of both genders!
More than anything else we each want to be understood. I know when someone really hears both my verbal words and my unspoken words that I feel so connected and valued.
Deep listening is not easy-but we can improve it quickly if we try these three techniques:
1. Suspend our own responses and thoughts while concentrating on the speaker. We listen at about 450 words per minute but we think at about 1,000-3,000 words per minute. In order to listen well we need to just hear without being quick to share our own experience immediately! Allow the speaker time to express without interruption.
2. Acknowledge what we just heard by restating it, re-framing it or asking if we heard accurately. When someone is really upset this behavior alone can have a calming and connected feeling for both of you. A sense of respect is given.
3. Ask questions about what the speaker just shared to further understand without judgment. This shows a caring for the speaker. What they shared is allowed to be fully explored!
These simple techniques can help a business, marriage, or friendship to get stronger. And it does not cost anything! I guarantee more satisfied clients and people will tell others how good it is to visit with you!
The Missing Link
Oops!! Many of you let me know the link for the powerful video of Dr. Christiane Northrup was not in my last newsletter. Sorry-Here it is below. Watch this to enhance your life, no matter what age!