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Keep Your D****d Shovel!

a shovelAre you a “mind reader?” A lot of people are! I used to be pretty good at reading minds until I realized how much I missed out on. I created whole stories in my head that the other person never even knew about. I felt hurts and thought injustices had been done to me! I knew my husband didn’t want to help me with whatever or that my coworker wouldn’t support my idea or the clerk at the store was going to make it difficult for me to get my money back.

I had whole dramas completed before I even asked the question, expressed my need or attempted to take action. I now find that the mind reading habit is a big one for a lot of the clients I see. They don’t take a risk because they “know” the outcome. They feel hurt or upset by someone when they haven’t checked out if their conclusion is accurate! What a waste of energy, missed opportunities, and unneeded hurt. A block to moving forward in business and relationships!

Maybe you can identify with this-if so I hope you will consider making a shift. A client brought the following story to me to illustrate this self-sabotaging behavior. I do not know who to credit for this but I hope you find the message helpful. And the next time you need a shovel-give someone a chance to give you one. Ask for it!!!

A man is driving along a country road, late on a cold, blustery night. A moment’s inattention puts him in the ditch, and despite his best efforts, he can’t get the car out.

However, he knows there is a house not too far up the road, and the people living there have a shovel he can borrow to dig himself out. So he starts walking. And as he walks, he thinks about his predicament and the people he hopes to borrow the shovel from.It is cold, and walking is hard, and he thinks to himself, “It’s so late, they will probably already be in bed.” Then he thinks, “If I wake them up, they will be angry and probably they will shout at me.”

A little further along, he wonders if they are so angry will they even loan him the shovel. They will probably make him beg for it, just to get even for waking them up. He doesn’t beg anyone for anything, he has his pride.

By the time he reaches the house, he has a fine head of steam worked up. He strides up to the door, pounds on it, and when the head of the house, clearly not yet asleep, answers, he shouts, “You can keep your da***d shovel,” and strides off back to the car.

By the way if you know of someone who may want assistance with breaking this habit-refer them to me. I would love to help them!